Redecorations by the Relocator

Melody and I came home this evening to find that the Relocator had sneaked into our house and done his mischief. We spent much of the day away, with Mass this morning followed by brunch followed by some grocery shopping. A brief stop at the house, and we were off again to Home Depot where we're working on some kitchen remodeling plans. By the time we grabbed a quick bite of supper it was nearly 7 PM, plenty of time for the Relocator to visit.

The first thing we noticed when we came in was a black furry dog with a big smile on his face. The next things we noticed were Melody's slippers, one Teva sandal, and a bra deposited at various points in the living room. And a prancing, smiling dog, obviously proud of his interior decorating skills.

Then, we moved back through the kitchen to the bedroom finding another shoe, and the wooden valet where we keep some frequently used clothes and where Melody lets her delicates dry upended on the floor. And more unmentionables spread around the bedroom. And again, the smiling interior decorator, grinning up at us and full of himself.

While we appreciated his efforts, we think we're doing ok without his assistance. To his credit, he's very gentle. None of the items relocated were in the least harmed. Just kind of moist and drooly.

As a reward for his efforts we went for an almost four mile walk to try to refocus his enthusiasm. Once we got back, he took a drink, ate his supper, and proceeded to get into one of his frenzies, running around the house like a crazy dog. Trying to get over to the back door to let him out, he smacked his head right into my shin. Didn't even phase him. He bolted out the door and ran around the back yard for a few laps, and then dug up one of his old hextras that he takes out there to marinade or something. Mmmm...old half chewed piece of dried cow skin. How appetizing.

That settled him down, though, and after munching through a new hextra, he's snoozing comfortably on his blanket. I look at him, laying there, and there's no way to get mad at him. He is a fine, fine beast.

We've regarded Oji as something of a "Practice Baby." Some days, we marvel at his ability to sleep for most of the entire day. Other days, like today, we learn the hazards of leaving him for too long. It is never dull, though...that's for sure. And we're really glad he doesn't have thumbs.

Runaway Dog

Nothing to worry about...we just got used to Oji being so obedient to the command, "Stay" that we got a bit complacent.

About two weeks ago, on our usual Wednesday night with the Cousins, the doorbell rang. It was Lisa from across the street, coming to let us know that Micki's car alarm was going off. While I was distracted, Oji darted out into the night. I swear, I'm going to get a blinking light permanently affixed to that dog.

He ran past Lisa, and up toward one of his favorite corners. Being in my stocking feet (picked up while living in Japan where our lease stipulated no shoes in the house), I had to waste valuable time putting on shoes before taking off after him. Of course, he thought this was fun, and as I called him, ran right past me and down toward the other corner. There, he hung a left and was gone.

Lisa and I ran down the street and tried to catch up with him. We had gone about two blocks when I finally saw him in the distance. I called to him, and he came running back...and past me once again. This time, though, he did circle back and trot back to me. I grabbed his collar, and Lisa and I led him back to the house. Hoping that his little excursion tired him out, we adjourned back inside and ate our supper, now somewhat colder after the detour.

However, he wasn't done. He was a complete pill that night. He got quite rough playing with Rohan, insisted on nibbling on our feet while we were trying to eat, and was just acting out much more than usual.

We figure that it was probably because neither Melody nor I had come home at lunchtime,
like we normally do to let him out and give him a bit of loving. So, that was his way of showing his disapproval of our neglect. We had to put him in time out three different times. Finally, he settled down and behaved, but not until Rohan had gone home. It was an interesting evening, with the stubborn terrier side emerging in full force.

Other than that, he continues to be a great dog. We finally had our yard sale last weekend, which was a partial success. We didn't get rid of everything, but we did make a bit of a dent. Salvation Army came out today to pick up the rest of it, but since we were one of the last stops, they didn't have room to take it. They'll be back on Tuesday. It's nice to have the workshop cleared out a bit. I put the extra couch in there, and it's now become a place for Oji and I to hang out. After working for about 3 hours organizing the stuff for donation, and cleaning the place out, I grabbed my book, my iPod, my dog, a beer and a cigar, and just relaxed. Nothing like an ice cold beer after some honest sweat.

At the beginning of the month, we headed to Houston to attend some of the festivities for Melody's 20 Year High School Reunion. It's strange to think that we've been out of high school for so long. I'm not sure we even had our reunion. Never heard anything about it.

It was good to meet some of Melody's friends. I've known a couple of them, Jerry and Stephanie, for several years now, and we had a nice time catching up with them. Back in August, Jerry and some friends from work (a major airline) hopped on a flight to Japan on a Friday, climbed Mt. Fuji on Saturday, and returned on Sunday so they could be back at work on Monday. Insane. But man, was I envious...

Oji was on his best behavior, and we were happy to see that he was very tolerant of Jerry and Stephanie's kids as they walked him, and patted his head and generally messed with him. He made no escape attempts, and just enjoyed being in Lola's back yard and the surrounding neighborhood with all the new smells.

Incidentally, Melody's mom came through Hurricane Ike mostly unscathed. There was a bit of damage, but nothing that wasn't repaired quickly. She was back at work within a day or so of the storm. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor hurricanes close Wal-Mart. They were even compensating employees who had damage with extra cash to get them through the initial days post storm.

My Personal Quest: The perfect backpack

For years now, I've been searching for the perfect backpack. If there are any vices that Melody and I share, it would have to be bags. We have far too many backpacks, carry-on bags, suitcases, drag bags...you name it. Part of it is our job...the military means that you travel a lot. And, you tend to have specialized luggage such as duffel bags, rucksacks, helmet bags, aviator kit bags, smaller "assault packs", among others. I have at least one one of each, and own pretty much all of the requisite equipment to go to the field, including a helmet. In fact, I really don't have to go to get anything issued, as I have everything I need. Of course, since the last time I spent any time in the field, a lot of the equipment has changed...so, maybe I do need new stuff. Hmmm...something to think about.

I also have several different civilian models of backpack. Big ones for camping, medium ones that I used for traveling, specialized travel backpacks, smaller day-packs, and "in-between" sizes that barely fit in the overhead compartment.

For me, the ultimate pack is one that I could use as a carry on that is large enough to travel for several weeks. Much of that comes from just paring down to the essentials, and using what Tim Ferriss calls the "buy it there" mentality.

Essential Features

• Lots of pockets (inside and out)
• Compartmentalization (separate top and bottom sections)
• External compression straps
• Attachment points for additional straps
• Water bottle pockets
• Hip belt with pockets (for snacks, camera, iPod, etc)
• "Security pocket" with key clip
• Metal tab zippers that you can lock
• Hydration bladder compatible

There were a couple of guys who traveled around the world for about 9 months with pretty much just one small-ish backpack each (a 28L Deuter if I recall). They cut their load by buying some pretty high quality and expensive things that were multi-use. They also culled their lives and sold everything they owned on EBay before they left to raise cash for the trip. A bit extreme perhaps for a family man to do...I'm pretty sure Melody would object. Still, it was interesting to see how they did it. Check them out at http://lifenomadic.com. They're back now, and have been for a couple of months, but their archives are there, and it's interesting to see how they went about preparing for the trip.

So, have I found the perfect pack? Sort of...it's a quest I really don't want to complete, as most of the fun is in the search itself. I have come pretty close. Here are my favorites (so far).

London Bridge Trading Company Medical Assault Pack:

Pros:

Lots of pockets

Rugged

Lockable tabs

Black color

Mesh back pocket

Zippered inside pockets (good security)

Cons:

Central compartment is somewhat small, especially if using all the pockets inside

Shoulder straps don't fit too well

No functional waist belt

Poor load distribution

Military styling not ideal for traveling in foreign lands (invites suspicion)

Mizuno Diamante 25L:

Pros:

Top Load

Two compartment

Good distribution of pockets (inside top flap, outside top flap, front, waist belt)

Excellent cushioning on straps

Excellent weight distribution

Cons:

Too small to be a "one bag" bag

Lower pocket difficult to access when fully loaded

Karrimor Trail 35L:

Pros:

Front load

Two compartment

Good pocket distribution including semi-concealed security pocket

Two pockets on waist belt

Decent cushioning on straps

Decent load distribution

Good size for carry-on

Karrimor (I've always wanted one, but hard to find in the US...)

Cons:

Green color looks quasi-military

Separator between compartments is closed with a drawstring (lacks support for heavy loads)

Velcro fasteners on waist belt pockets (zippers are more secure)

Pregnancy

Melody is pregnant, but won't let me take any good pictures of her. So, here is one I took in Singapore at one of the Hindu temples in town. Imagine my surprise when I saw my very own wife portrayed as a goddess (I think). It looks just like her, though.

I keep asking her to put on a sari and carry some bananas on her head, and her only reply is to look at me like I have a lobster growing out of my forehead. I suppose I can understand that.

But, that's what Photoshop is for!

Decker Creek

We spent another weekend at our adopted getaway spot, the Decker Creek Bed and Breakfast and Biscuits. This was our second visit, and we took a couple of days of leave to enjoy it at a more leisurely pace this time.

It's just outside Austin, and about an hour and a half away. The proprietors, Pat and Byron Rathbun, have two cabins on over 50 acres of rolling Texas bottom land, complete with creek, woods, and fields. The comfortable cabins are nicely appointed, and have all the amenities for a weekend away, including gourmet, homemade dog biscuits, which Oji adores. We humans adore the huge, country breakfasts, sitting on the porch after waking up with a steaming cup of coffee and good book, and the opportunities to wander the woods on the several miles of trails that are available. We have yet to even set foot in Austin proper.

On Friday, we meandered our way up to Enchanted Rock, sort of the Texas equivalent of Stone Mountain, Georgia, but without the Confederate heroes carved into the side or the laser light show and fireworks. It has been kept deliberately as a semi-wild area, and, judging from all the different types of animal poop Oji and I saw, it's pretty wild.

To get there, you have to drive through an area that has multiple signs for "loose cattle." We figured that was because there were no fences around, rather than some commentary on the local cow morals. We did indeed see some out for a wander and some contented cud-munching.

We got to the rock around four PM, and since Melody is great with child, Oji and I went off to climb while she videoed us from down below. It was pretty steep, and left us winded, but we were able to get to the top in only about 15 minutes. Lest we leave Melody alone for too long in the gift shop, Oji and I didn't linger much at the summit. We stayed long enough to get our picture taken, and then headed on down. She only had time to buy two T-shirts.

The view was gorgeous from up there, with the Texas Hill Country spreading out as far as the eye could see. It was a great day for a climb, a pleasant high-80s kind of day, sunny with puffy clouds floating by, and just enough breeze to allow the sweat to cool you off from your exertions. I brought some water for both of us, and upon reaching the top, we spent a few minutes drinking and catching our breath before heading back down.

After we got back, we all piled into the Jeep, and headed back to Llano to grab some famous Cooper's Bar B Que, which we put in a cooler, and drove back to the B&B&B to eat it. "No Dogs," said the sign outside the restaurant.
We can tell when we're not welcome.

The chow was great, and was washed down with some Lone Star beer, the "National Beer of Texas." It was good. Very good.

Saturday, we just relaxed around the cabin and surrounding property. Oji and I saw an armadillo, a rabbit, and possibly a turkey while wandering the property, and overall, we had a wonderfully restful day.

If you're ever headed for Austin, be sure to check out the Decker Creek B&B&B as an option for your stay. You won't be disappointed. Just call ahead early, as it is booked nearly continuously months out. But, it's worth it.

Great Old Spice Slogan

"If your grandfather didn't wear it, you wouldn't exist."

How true...My Dad had some that I think he got from his Dad.

Oji Tails

I got an email from my old friend LT, one of our regulars, calling for more stories about Oji. So, in an attempt to indulge her, here we go.

Oji Goes to the Country. We decided to take a weekend for ourselves about a month ago, and headed up the road toward Austin. Melody had Googled around for a while to find a dog-friendly getaway, so we were going to spend the weekend at the Decker Creek Bed and Breakfast and Biscuits. It's a nice little place run by Pat and Byron Rathbun who have 50 acres or so of woods, fields and creek as well as two cute cabins that they rent out.

We drove up there after work one Friday night, getting there at about 9 PM (it took us a while to get on the road...Heaven help us once we have a child in a couple of months. We'll never get anywhere). We met up with Pat and Byron, got the key to the cabin, and drove through the woods to get there. As soon as we'd moved everything inside, I took Oji out to the fenced in back yard, keeping him on the leash so I could make sure that the fence did indeed look secure. I walked the perimeter with him, and, satisfied, I let him off the leash and went back inside.

A few minutes later, I went out to call him back inside. I could hear him walking around up the hill, but couldn't see him. The jingle of his collar got louder as I could hear him coming down, but still, I couldn't pinpoint his location. Jingle jingle...jingle jingle...it sounded like it was off to the left, by the fence. Then, I saw a shadow walk by. Outside. The. Fence.

In my stocking feet, I ducked back inside, grabbed my shoes, a flashlight and the leash, and headed out the front door. Now, I couldn't see or hear him, and I thought to myself, "Great. Black dog. Dark, moonless night. 50 acres of unfamiliar woods. This is perfect." It took about 15 minutes before I was able to figure out where he was, and then another 10 to get close enough to get the leash on him. We still need to work a bit more on the "Come" command.

So, the next morning, we decided to take him with us to breakfast. Pat and Byron had encouraged us the night before, because they have a couple of dogs as well. So, we did. And not 10 seconds after having been let in to their beautiful house complete with antique breakfast table, Oji went and marked the table leg. I apologized profusely, and cleaned it up with paper towels. They were very understanding. This of course is not the first time Oji has introduced himself this way, as I'm sure loyal readers will remember our trip to the dog park. We're not trying to encourage such behavior.

Later on that afternoon, Oji and I went for a walk around the premises, and made a wrong turn, ending up on the neighbor's property where there were some horses. I'm pretty sure that Oji has never seen horses before, and he was fascinated by them, and they by him.

We had a nice walk, though, and were thoroughly pooped by the time we returned. We both had a big drink and a nap.

Relocatables. We just moved into some new office space in what they call "Relocatables." Basically, that's a fancy (and according to my spell checker a made-up) word for "Trailer Park." We have ninetuplewide that is definitely something you'll want to stay away from during tornadoes. Especially since we have no chickens to hang on to (obscure David Brenner comedy act reference - "Did you ever notice that after some tornado out in the midwest, you can have an entire town destroyed, but the chickens are still wandering around as if nothing ever happened? You can just hear the cows saying, 'Tornado's coming!! Hang on to a chicken!!' ").

Anyhow, before I discovered the relocatable that I work in, I took the term to mean that which we find upon coming home has been relocated from its original location, like Melody's slippers which usually live in the bathroom, and we find under the television. Or, Oji's bed, which usually stays right by the foot of ours, but sometimes is found in the kitchen. We've also found our dog likes to relocate himself.

Like for instance just last night, while I was brushing my teeth. Normally, he is fascinated by bathroom activities. If you leave the door open, you get a spectator watching your every brush, floss, scrub or other type of body maintenance. It's a little bit weird. Last night, though, I looked down to where he normally sits in the doorway, and he was gone. I figured he'd gone out to see his Mom, still watching TV. When I came out, I saw a black bundle curled up on the bed, right next to my John McCain book and a load of clean laundry. It was our beloved beast, making himself comfortable. It was so cute, I couldn't be angry...instead, I took a photo with my cell phone.

Friday after work, I found him on the couch, and on our blue chair today. My previously non-dog-fan mother-in-law said, "Oh, just let him get up there. He's just trying to see what it's like!" This from a woman who was none to pleased that we were even getting a dog. Now, though, she's like the doting grandmother. Quite the transformation!

Oji's New Friend. Recently, Melody's cousin moved into town. It turns out that she was hired by our Veterinarian's office to be a third doctor there. We had no idea that she was coming, and she didn't know we were in town until her mom told her. It's been fun having some family nearby, though.

Along with Vicki came Rohan, her 2.5 lb Yorkie. The first time she came to our house, she brought him along. I took Oji outside to meet him in the street to try to minimize any Alpha Dog Syndrome...it seemed to work pretty well, just like on that Cesar Milan's show. So now, Oji's got a little cousin. They get along fine so far. Oji at first didn't know what to make of this squirrel sized creature who was nibbling on his dinner, drinking his water, and sniffing his junk. After a time, they both loosened up a bit, and began playing chase around the house. Oji will paw at his smaller buddy, and Rohan will jump up and try to bite Oji's face. Friday night as we were eating, they were chasing each other around the dinner table. Rohan would hide beneath chairs where Oji had a hard time reaching him...they had us in stitches. We're glad that Oji's got a little friends to hang out with, as the only other doggy interaction is on walks or at school, and that mostly is him barking at the other students. We're so proud.

Actually, though, he has been doing pretty well at school. He was one of only 2 dogs (Fred the Puggle is the other) who were asked to continue their schooling at the intermediate level. So, we're going to continue for another 8 weeks. He's not perfect, and I don't dare let him off leash just yet, but we're getting better.

Craxtra. Routine dental care is difficult for dogs. To clean their teeth, they actually have to get put to sleep (anesthesia, not the Big Sleep...). So, lots of products are out there to try to minimize tartar buildup, ranging from toothpaste that tastes like meat, to chew toys, to "greenies" and our personal favorite, Hextra. Hextra is a rawhide-like substance that is impregnated with an antibiotic called CET. It's tough, and the chewing plus the CET stuff apparently works wonders to keep the dog's teeth nice and clean.

The way Oji reacts to his daily Hextra is really funny, and has made me call it "Craxtra" because it seems to be addicting. Oji gets a big doggy smile, and his tail starts wagging in excitement. Once he gets it, he savors it for a moment, and then runs into every room of the house tossing it up into the air and catching it in his teeth before settling in one place to gnaw away at it. Depending on the thickness, it can take him up to half an hour of ecstatic chewing before it's gone.

Oji is kind of like our "practice baby." Having a dog is definitely like having a kid with training wheels. You learn a lot when you have responsibility for another being that requires food, and potty breaks, and naps...even if that being has four legs and a fuzzy face. When you look down to see that fuzzy face staring up at you with the look that says "I love you! Take me out so I can pee all over the neighborhood!", your heart just melts with love. When he gets so excited because he recognizes that me putting on my walking shorts and socks, it's just too cute. He starts running back and forth before leading me to the door, looking over his shoulder with every step to make sure that I'm right behind. Adorable.

You also learn patience, as you stand in the rain with him trying to find just the right place to pee or make a poop.

But, it's all worth it. I just wonder though, if I'm this bad with a dog, how will I be with the fruits of my own loins? We'll find out in December...Do they make Hextra pacifiers?

Close Encounter with Steven Tyler

I forgot to mention that, while I was waiting to board my flight from Rapid City to Denver when heading home, I watched some poor guy getting the "special" TSA treatment with the full bag search and body wand. He looked vaguely familiar, and must have had quite a lot of metal in various places on his body, as it took a long time for him to get finished. He was sort of scruffy looking, and I initially just chalked it up to him being another Sturgis attendee. Then, as he was walking out of security, having quite patiently endured the scrutiny, I realized who he was. It was Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fame. Pretty neat to see a real celebrity, especially in such a small town (though much, much larger at Sturgis time).

Behold. The Humble Toilet Seat as Art!

More than just a place to perch your toilet kit while fishing for your razor, the toilet seat has been elevated to an art form right here in San Antonio, TX.

I put up an article on the Everywhere site...check it out here.

Rapid City South Dakota

Last month, we had the unfortunate need to travel for a funeral. My paternal Grandfather died at age 95. He was an accomplished PhD Biochemist and a pretty incredible guy. While the occasion was sad, it was a good chance to catch up with some family I'd not seen in a long, long time.

My Father and Sister and I all made our way to Rapid City, South Dakota on the 5th of August. While in Chicago, my Sister ran into my Aunt Carolyn and Cousin Jeff. Within 30 minutes of them arriving to Rapid City, my Father joined us, and we all headed into town to check into the hotel.

Just after we checked in, my Aunt Marylin came to lead us over to the hospice home where Grandpa was staying, just barely hanging on. He looked very weak, and with three of his four kids there, was able to rouse himself a little bit. We aren't sure if he really was aware of our presence, but he seemed to be.

The next morning, we went back to the home to find that he had passed away about a half-hour earlier. We're grateful that we'd seen him one last time the day before.

During funeral preparations, we learned a lot about our Grandfather, and my Dad and Aunts had a good time reminiscing about growing up during the 1950s. Stuff like how, when my Grandfather decided that he wanted to modernize the house, he and my Dad went up on the roof, and, using hand saws, sawed off the overhanging eaves. At one point, my Pop was filling his arms with boards to bring back to the top of the roof, when he began to lose his balance and teeter two stories above the backyard. Grandpa was too far away to grab him, and watched terrified as he almost fell. At the last second, Dad was able to fling himself forward and stay on the roof. Grandpa told him, "We won't tell your Mother about that."

After this was completed, Grandpa decided that the garage wasn't in the right place and that it really ought to be a two car garage. So, he detached it from the foundation, made a new foundation closer to the house, and hooked up a block and tackle to the old Packard, and hauled it on rollers, "Hebrew slaves building the Pyramids"-style, onto the new site. Then, back up on the roof with a hand saw to saw the entire building in half along the apex, pull the two halves apart to make it two-car sized, and then use the pieces formerly known as eaves to fill in the gap. There was pretty much nothing that he didn't think he could do, and he got a lot of satisfaction from creating something functional (though perhaps not always something aesthetic).

We did have some time to do a bit of sightseeing, and got up to Dinosaur Park, on a hill overlooking the small city. This is what I remember from my visits as a young boy...huge prehistoric beasts menacing the town. South Dakota is known for its preponderance of fossils, so I guess it makes sense. The beasts were also good for some classic photos. The impalement. The panicked "Oh No! It's going to eat me!!" shot. And of course, my body builder cousin about to take care of business with the recalcitrant Apatasaurus. Good stuff. Award winning photos, for certain. I will say, though, the Tyranosaurus rex was not terribly intimidating. Something about his goofy grin just makes it difficult to take him very seriously.

The last day, just before we had to go to the airport, we drove about 30 minutes outside of town to Mt. Rushmore for breakfast. The food was mediocre (the Park Service should stick to servicing parks), but you couldn't beat the view outside the window. And, no one fell off a bench and cracked their head this time, like my little brother did some 20+ years ago (the last time we were there).

We also had the chance to peripherally take part in the huge Sturgis Rally going on simultaneous to our visit. We seemed to be the only visitors in town that weren't decked out in leather pants and T-shirts sporting Harley Davidson logos. Though, it did give me the idea that if we ever have a son, we should name him Harley, so he would be "Harley, David's son." Surprisingly, that got vetoed.

So, while the reason for the trip was sad, it was overall a good opportunity. We got to see Grandpa one last time, say our goodbyes, and spend some quality, though difficult, time with family.